Let Me Shine, Mom!

The most important aspect in raising twins is allowing them to discover their own person. Here’s how parents can build individuality in them:

• Never compare. Avoid labeling (such as “the smart one” or “the athletic one”) because this will limit her potential. Make it a habit to call them each by their names.
• Identify each child through an item (such as a different backpack or shoelace) to discourage people from guessing based on physical appearance (such as “the heavier one”).
• Dress them similarly but not identically. This will help the child know that she is her own person and has her own things; give them their own closet space for their belongings.
• Spend alone time with each child. This will allow you the opportunity to see each child’s personality as a whole and not just as a part of the other.
• Build each child’s interest without forcing one or the other to be the same way; like taking one twin to a soccer game and the other to a guitar class.
• Show affection to each child with individual praise and recognition. Make sure you give all this equally no matter what.